Eureeka’s Castle

Sometimes I feel like I was the only person in the entire world that watched Eureeka’s Castle. I believe it was aired on Nickelodeon in the early 90’s which once again proves that I only watched one channel for the entirety of my childhood.

Eureeka’s Castle was a show consisting of magical creatures that lived in a wind-up castle. In the opening credits of each episode, a giant would wind up his “music box” and everyone in the castle would wake up. It was a lot for a small brain to process.

Unfortunately, the cast of the show were all puppets. I’m not a puppet person but Eureeka and her gang were cool. They weren’t weird Jim Hensen puppets that kind of look like people but kind of don’t—they actually looked like dragons and other creatures.

I never thought it was fair that it was called Eureeka’s Castle because everyone on the show lived in the castle. Wasn’t it all equally theirs? Why did Eureeka get to own it? I guess Eureeka was the only “human” type because she was a wizard/sorceress. But she was awful. She was consistently messing up spells and ruining everything. Just a disgrace really. Technically it was the no-name giant’s castle.

The only sane character was Magellan. He was a large dragon (think Big Bird size) and he roamed around the castle talking to all of his friends. He was nice enough but his tail would always knock things over which was a nightmare for an OCD child like myself. Magellan would always yell at his tail whenever he destroyed something. Don’t pretend you have no control over your body, you schizo.

Other charming characters around the castle were Bogge and Quagmire who were twins that lived in the moat in the basement. Bogge was orange and Quagmire was magenta and they both had bumps all over them that I just assumed were warts and pimples. They really liked peanut butter and I don’t think they got out a lot.

There was also Batley, a bat who flew around the castle and usually crashed into everything because he was almost blind. He wore thick-rimmed hipster glasses which obviously made him the coolest of the bunch. After crashing he would always say, “I meant to do that!” which was funny to me because it was likely that he didn’t mean to. I swear I had a better sense of humor than that.

I don’t remember much about Mr. Knack, but I do remember that he had a foreign accent and was totally annoying. He was a salesman who had a cart of knick knacks that he tried to sell. I honestly don’t know who would buy them since he obviously only saw people that lived in the castle. No one needs knick knacks when they live in a castle. Mr. Knack was a human like Eureeka and now I’m wondering why they didn’t ever hook up.

A little known fun-fact is that R.L. Stine was one of the creators of Eureeka’s Castle. Mr. Stine had a really good run in the 90’s. Like, he really shined during that decade. He has a twitter now, I think. What a sell out.