VH1’s 100 Greatest Kid Stars

VH1 recently had an episode of their show The Greatest featuring the 100 Greatest Kid Stars. Since this is somewhat relevant to the themes in this blog I decided it was important for us here at Kidz Showz to cover the story. First, most importantly, here is the list VH1 presented.

1. Justin Bieber
2. Macaulay Culkin
3/4. The Olsen Twins
5. Daniel Radcliffe
6. Jaleel White
7. Jonathan Taylor Thomas
8. Raven-Symoné
9. Miley Cyrus
10. Britney Spears
12. Hanson
13. Fred Savage
14. Melissa Joan Hart
15. Dakota Fanning
16. Amanda Bynes
17. Tia and Tamera Mowry
18. Anna Paquin
19. Joey Lawrence
20. Jonathan Lipnicki
21. Frankie Muniz
22. Christina Ricci
22. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
24. Lindsay Lohan
25. Danica McKellar
26. Elijah Wood
27. Keshia Knight Pulliam
28. Haley Joel Osment
29. Hilary Duff
30. Mark-Paul Gosselaar
31. Mara Wilson
32. Natalie Portman
33. Ben Savage
34. Brandy
35. The Jonas Brothers
36. Angus T. Jones
37. Justin Timberlake
38. Kirsten Dunst
39/40. Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell
41. Mayim Bialik
42. Sara Gilbert
43. Abigail Breslin
44. Josh Saviano
45. Vanessa Hudgens
46. Edward Furlong
47. Mandy Moore
48. Claire Danes
49. Emma Watson
50/51. Danny Tamberelli and Michael Maronna
52. Heather DeLoach
53. Jennifer Love Hewitt
54. Dustin Diamond
55. Michelle Williams
56. Rico Rodriguez
57. Lil Romeo
58. Anna Chlumsky
59. Nick Carter
60. Candace Cameron
61. Scarlett Johansson
62. Brad Renfro
63. Hanna Hall
64. Jodie Sweetin
65. Madeline Zima
66. Danielle Fishel
67. John Francis Daley
68. Selena Gomez
69. Demi Lovato
70. LeAnn Rimes
71. Shia LaBeouf
72. Alisan Porter
73. Michael Fishman
74. Emma Roberts
75. Michael Oliver
76. Jessica Biel
77. Jeremy Jackson
78. Aaron Carter
79. Michelle Trachtenberg
80. Rider Strong
81. Hallie Eisenberg
82. Taran Noah Smith
83. Beverly Mitchell
84. Taylor Lautner
85. Jonathan Brandis
86. Jason James Richter
87. Jenna von Oy
88. Jake Lloyd
89. Michael Bower
90. Avril Lavigne
91. Jaimee Foxworth
92. Miko Hughes
93. Spencer Elden
94. Andrea Barber
95. Johnny Galecki
96. Drake
97. Kyla Pratt
98. Ariana Richards
99. Samm Levine
100. Bow Wow

First off let me point out there is a glaring omission. I’m not sure what the rules were for this, which I guess I should because I’m pretending to be a journalist, but doesn’t Gary Coleman belong on this list? I think he may have been disqualified for being a child his entire life. Still, his early years when his age was still in a child’s range speaks for itself. Leaving Mr. Coleman off this list is a disgrace and shows you this list has very little merit. Looking the list over we can assume they only go back 20 years. If there’s anything I learned in journalism school it’s to always assume and never ask questions, you’ll look like an idiot who doesn’t know how to use Google.

Two other standouts missing from this list are Shaun Weiss and Patrick Renna, the overweight actors who played Goldberg in The Mighty Ducks and Ham in The Sandlot respectfully. These two may not have gone on to have great Hollywood careers or anything. I still think they played memorable and relatable characters. How is Samm Levine on this list and Goldberg not? The only time I ever heard the name Samm Levine was when a girl I met on a train told me she had a crush on him. I got her phone number and when I called her she never returned my message. So as you can see, I kind of hate Samm Levine and the people who like him.

tim versus samm

(Tell me which face you would rather sit on. The one with the gorgeous smile and teeth or the pale toad on the right? I’m sorry Samm, but Kate ruined any chances of us ever being on good terms)

The most obvious problem I have with this list starts at the top. Justin Bieber greater than Macauley Culkin? No. It’s not the wealthiest or most likely to be a closeted homosexual list. It’s greatest. Macauley Culkin is not a kid star. Macauley Culkin is THE kid star. Two Home Alone movies, Richie Rich, and the one where he meets his long lost father and there’s a montage where they dance at a miniature golf course make up his resume. Bieber does not belong as number on this list. I know they were trying to be tricky like when Stairway to Heaven or Smells Like Teen Spirit don’t make the list of greatest songs. This is no excuse. Until Justin Bieber does more than sing a song with Rascal Flatts that I always see playing at the mall he hasn’t earned this honor.

bieberflatts031411

(So much bad music in so few photographs)

Looking over this list made me realize one important thing. Actresses who start off young grow up to be really hot. I’ve done the math and I’ve already seen 8 of them naked and liked what I saw each time. No homo, a lot of the males grew up to be lookers too. Kid’s stars have this reputation for completely destroying themselves through drugs and working with Eddie Murphy. Perhaps this new crop can turn things around. Sure, they have their hiccups but what list of names doesn’t?

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20 thoughts on “VH1’s 100 Greatest Kid Stars

  1. I was watching this when it was on TV the other day. I think I was in Nashville. I jumped in during the Candace Cameron thru Lil Romeo phase. I don’t think it’s fair to include people like Nick Carter because he was a singer. And he wasn’t even a child. He was like a full blown adult. So that doesn’t really count. And Lil Romeo was popular, but I wouldn’t call him a child star.
    And who is a such a big fan of Samm Levine? And why does he spell his name with two m’s? He was really good in Freaks and Geeks, but that’s about it.

    • I actually almost went as far as to find a downloaded copy of this to watch and research. I decided against it because who would risk jailtime for a Vh1 special?

      I had to look up who a lot of these people were. Like the kid on the Nevermind album was on the list. That seemed pretty lousy and like a waste. I wish he had grown up to be a nudist.

      Samm Levine stinks. I totally blame him for the reason why I had to go to the movie theater and see Watchmen alone. That girl had too many pimples anyway and not in a good way. Good riddance.

    • I always forget about her. I’m pretty sure they started in like 1985 because to VH1 nothing before that happened. The world to them is only 27 years old. They make born-agains look scientific.

  2. Ha!
    Good thing the Olsen twins rated almost the same. Wouldn’t want them to be emotionally injured by the notoriety of a split. But which one is #3? Can’t they tell?

    Why do I think Gov. Christie was a child star? He’s not on the list…maybe he wasn’t. He could’ve played a tiny Soprano.

    • Ha could you imagine? I had two twins in my high school whose GPA’s were ranked 3 and 4. Funny, they’re kind of like the Olsen twins now in that way. I think it would have been worse if someone was in between them. That’s like saying one is far and away better than the other.

      I don’t think he was a child star. Maybe Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts?

  3. Well, not tiny.

    Maybe he was Tony’s long-lost son, Petey “Never Eat It with a Fork” Panzarotti.

    Some of those kids turned into really fine actors. Some I never heard of. Now you’ve got me curious.
    🙂

    • We all start off small though! Even elephants are like 80 pounds when they’re born. Yes I’m calling him an elephant.

      It’s amazing how many actually did have great careers. I don’t thik any are fat governors though 🙂

  4. You can’t really put a whole lot of stock in this list. Shirley Temple, Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney, Liz Taylor, Roddy Mcdowell, Jodie Foster, to name just a few, outshine most, if not all, of these “stars.” Any list of Greatest Kid stars without them can’t be taken seriously.

    • Oh yeah it’s a more “modern” list for kids who think The Bad News Bears came out in the mid-2000s. Jodie Foster often goes overlooked as a kid star because of what she’s down as a grown lesbian. She nearly got Reagan killed. That’s saying something.

  5. If this was an AllTime List,I would add Elizabeth Taylor,Macaulay Culkin,River Phoenix,Jackie Cooper,Natalie Wood,David and Ricky Nelson,Fred and Ben Savage,Selena Gomez,Josh Hutcherson,Corey Haim,Jonathan Brandis,Frankie Muniz,Don Grady,Rider Strong,Emma Roberts,James MacArthur,Zachery Ty Bryan,Barret Oliver,Natalie Portman,Drake Bell,Justin Timberlake,Josh Charles,Lacey Chabert,Diane Varsi,Marta Kristen,and Peter Lawford.

  6. Here’s my Top 20:
    1.Elizabeth Taylor 2.Macaulay Culkin 3.River Phoenix 4.Jackie Cooper 5.Natalie Wood 6.David and Ricky Nelson(siblings share a number in my book) 7. Selena Gomez 8.Claire Danes 9.Josh Hutcherson 10.Britney Spears 11.Hilary Duff 12.Fred and Ben Savage 13.Miranda Cosgrove 14.Corey Haim 15.Jonathan Brandis 16.Henry Thomas 17.Frankie Muniz 18.Marta Kristen 19.Nick Carter 20.James MacArthur

    Do you agree/disagree?

  7. She was a HUGE kid star. Her career took off with the movie “National Velvet” in 1944 and acted most of her life. She wasn’t just a big kid star,buf one of the greatest of all time.

    James MacArthur,whose career spanned four decades,went extremly far as well. He started on radio and stage when he was eleven,but it wasn’t until he was 17 or 18 that he made his film debut in the movie “The Young Stranger”. As an adult,he played Danno on the original “Hawaii Five-O”. He continued acting until the 1990’s and died in 2010.

    I believe kid stars like Selena Gomez,Hilary Duff,Fred and Ben Savage,Miranda Cosgrove,Henry Thomas,Frankie Muniz,Natalie Portman,Emma Roberts,Rider Strong,Justin Timberlake,and Nick Carter can go really far and have long careers. Some of those on the VH1 list do not have the talent to go far.

    Do you agree/disagree?

    • I never knew!

      I think some of them definitely have the potential or already have. Frankie Muniz is cooked unfortunately. He’s not even 30 and already having seizures. I think Hilary Duff is pretty much retired. She seems to not enjoy the spotlight. I think at least one of the recent Disney/Nickelodeon girls will go on to be a huge actress eventually. Look at Joseph Gordon Levitt. He basically took off his entire 20s and he’s one of the most popular actors out there now.

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