It’s rare I would be willing to recommend a show to people of any age and tell them they will find something to enjoy about it. Gargoyles is a show I would tell anyone to give a shot to. I honestly believe this show was so ahead of its time we’re not even there yet. An epic theme song, awesome mythological references, and an extremely dark plot lines, there’s a reason why this show never was as popular as it deserved. People simply don’t like awesome things. Want an example? Zooey “Overrated” Deschanel has her own TV show. I rest my case.
I will admit most of this post will be kissing ass. There are few things I can say suck about this show. It was produced by Disney and started off with a four-part series explaining the origin of the Gargoyles. They came from Scotland around Mediaeval times. A curse was put on them and they woke up in modern day New York City thanks to a series of events that would take four episodes to explain. Okay maybe this show wasn’t popular because it was a little complicated for children.
(Bronx, Lexington, Brooklyn, Goliath, Hudson, Broadway. Unless you’re Chinese I think you can figure out the order I went in, left to right)
The Gargoyle clan originally consisted of the leader Goliath who had an awesome name and a few who had to adapt names in modern day New York because they weren’t good enough to earn real names back in Scotland. The others in the clan were Hudson named after the river, Broadway named after the street, Bronx and Brooklyn were both named after the boroughs, and then there was Lexington who got the worst name of all. I guess they couldn’t name him Queens though. A gay gargoyle would cause too much confusion for a little boy’s mind.
These Gargoyles had many awesome adventures. I don’t use the word awesome too often either except when describing my naked body to a girl over the phone while prank phone calling. The main antagonists were David Xanatos and a female gargoyle named Demona. David was the millionaire who actually bought the castle the gargoyles had lived on. He was so rich and eccentric he decided to put the castle on top of his skyscraper. I think there was an episode where he rubbed it in Richard Branson’s face how much more exciting he could be. Demona had red hair and was Goliath’s former lover. She was incredibly evil and on occasion worked with Xanatos but they had their own strange sexual tension which often led to one betraying the other.
(Xanatos was voiced by Jonathon Frakes who is known for Star Trek, Beyond Belief, and having a voice I would love to listen to while making love)
Helping the gargoyles along the way was a police officer named Elisa Maza. Yeah, they let women be cops now. Who knew? She had dark hair and in certain light it looked blue. She also had a hot body and for some reason was never seen with a man other than Goliath. Speaking of sexual tension, it was often teased that Goliath and Elisa would have sex. Creepy.
(This is why we can’t let the gays get married. Next thing you know Gargoyles will start stealing our women)
I think though now that I’m older my favorite thing about the show was there was a long-running storyline about the Illuminati. Who approves a kid’s show where the Illuminati are talked about? Someone awesome, that’s who. Like a lot of shows of the time there was sometimes over the top violence and a ton of death. I listened to a DVD commentary where they explained how most of the time they had someone get pushed off a cliff or a castle because they could get away with it easier. Honestly, I’m getting a little turned on right now remembering how awesome this show was.
At one point my life was very Gargoyles geared. They had their own brand of ice pop. Inside the popsicles were pop rocks so when you ate this frozen treat your mouth would pop. I also had a board game based on the show which was scary. It was one of those old board games where you watch a video and play then occasionally someone comes on the screen to scare you and demands you do something. Did anyone else play these games? I played a few. The coolest time Gargoyles entered my life was in 2nd grade on Halloween. I had broken my leg about a month earlier and being wheelchair bound it looked like I would have to be Stephan Hawking. My mom thought quickly and made me into a gargoyle, Goliath to be specific. I wore a grey sweat suit with a Goliath mask. On the wheelchair handlebars were the gargoyle wings. My mom put so much effort into this costume the next year I was a baseball player who simply carried around a baseball bat and a Phillies shirt. They can’t all be winners.