Okay I’ve got lots of bones to pick with Caillou and his entire family. And the show itself. And the creators of the show. And the people who watch it.

First of all, who names their child Caillou? I don’t care if you’re French, that’s just such a dumb name I can’t even stand it. If you want your child to live a miserable life, then yes, go ahead and name him Caillou. I believe the show was created in Montreal along with other Frenchy kid’s shows that play in Canada. Caillou somehow meandered down to the United States where he was UNIVITED and just decided to make it his home. And by that, I mean, that they play the show on American channels now.Caillou

One very off-putting thing about Caillou is that he’s bald. He’s literally five years old and has no hair on his head. At least Charlie Brown had a few wisps. Caillou has nothing. He definitely doesn’t have cancer so that’s not it. I find it very confusing for children, and by children, I mean me. Caillou’s parents and sister all have thick brown locks and Caillou was blessed with nothing. This is a hard gene-pool lesson to teach the 2-6 year olds watching this show.

Speaking of Caillou’s parents, I honestly can’t tell them apart. Which one is the mom and which one is the dad? Why do they have the same voice and body shape and hair style? It’s so freaky. And why, for the love of God, did they name their son Caillou? They named their daughter something normal like, Rosie. Rosie is two years old and has more common sense than Caillou which is always a bad sign.

Rosie is ultimately more mature and doesn’t cause that much harm. Meanwhile, Caillou can often be whiny and complain if he doesn’t get his way or if something is bothering him. Caillou doesn’t make the impression that he’s five years old. Especially with his voice. He and Rosie have the same voice. And they’re three years apart! And one is supposed to be a boy!

Rosie's crying because her life sucks so much.

Rosie’s crying because her life sucks so much.

Another thing I don’t like about the whole Caillou clan is that they’re kind of cheap. Now, I’m definitely not saying that saving money is a bad thing, it’s quite good in fact. Everyone should try to save money. But when Caillou wanted a costume for Halloween, his parents looked around the house for a costume instead of buying him one. They weren’t even interested in sewing anything. They just wanted to find him an old shirt or something. LIKE, WHO DOES THAT? This is the 21st century and children need purchased costumes. During the entire episode his parents weren’t super interested in finding him a costume and they were like, “We’ll see what we can find in the basement.” Why don’t you just go to the store and buy your bald kid a costume. He has it bad enough with a name like Caillou and all.

The family cat, Gilbert has it pretty rough as well. Being a cat in a family that has young kids is never a good thing. You’ll end up being stroked the wrong way, or someone jumping on you, or getting your tail pulled. Poor Gilbert.

All in all, Caillou’s family is a disaster. I would recommend this show if you have nothing better to do or if you want to see what Tin Tin might have looked like as a child.


20 thoughts on “Caillou

  1. I almost feel as if I need to write an outline for my comment because there are so many points I need to address about Caillou. On the subject of his hair, WTF indeed. The first time I saw the show was when I was 18 and my baby cousin was watching it, and for some reason I thought Caillou was Asian. Don’t know where that came from. I feel so sorry for Rosie. I guess Caillou’s parents realized they had produced a dud on the first go-round so they had to try again. If that’s the case, at least they were more successful on the second try.

    Also, can we just talk about Caillou’s grandparents? They are one of the few bright spots on the show. At some point I learned that George Carlin actually voiced Caillou’s grandfather for some older episodes. Why why why? So random.

    • Caillou is just so confusing and bothersome on so many levels. Well, I could imagine Caillou being Asian because it just seems more likely that he would be bald if he was. Weird, I agree. Haha Caillou is totally a dud! Caillou is going to grow up to spite Rosie and things are gonna be totally messy.

      I remember some of the grandparents episodes, but not that clearly. I do remember that his grandma narrates the show which is kind of weird. That’s really bizarre about George Carlin. Indeed, WHY? Such a minor part for no reason.

      • I really can’t believe I know this, and I’m going to regret clarifying it, but I read somewhere that actually the narrator is supposed to be a teacher who is telling the stories of Caillou to her class. I am severely ashamed that I know that. Facts like those are taking up space in my brain. Tragic.

      • Hahah seriously that’s so random that you know that. Why is the teacher like 100 years old anyway? Is she a schoolmarm?

  2. Caillou was my go-to change the channel show. I never could watch an episode and this confirms I shouldn’t have. Hair is easy to draw. He must have something wrong with him. Was there a nuclear reactor nearby? Jesus….

    I love that you noticed how cheap the family is. They seem like bad parents who mean well but they probably grew up with parents who survived the Dust Bowl during the Great Depression so they’re really cheap. Maybe they should have just gotten him a wig for Halloween and he could go out as a normal kid.

    • But baldness is easier to draw I guess. Some animators in Montreal were taking the easy route I guess.

      Hah I always pick up on cheapness in TV shows. When kid’s are growing up, they don’t really know what poor is. I just hope that his parent’s aren’t looking for Halloween costumes for him when he’s in Middle School or something. That could be scarring. Hahah a normal kid! That would be the best. And they could’ve done that because the kid’s watching the show probably wouldn’t even notice.

  3. THIS is primarily the reason why adults just aren’t welcome into the world of children’s television. I have asked myself all the convoluted questions you’ve asked in this post and as they began to answer themselves, I began to feel more and more like the idiots most parents are when they approach the show with a closed adult mind. Yes, Caillou is bald. Why? Because children don’t care, that’s why. And yes he whines. All children do. His parents don’t address the whining because they address the issue that caused him to whine. Good parents do, and won’t just lose their cool over tiny childhood squabbles. Never does anyone see the see the show for the reason why so many children love it.
    Unlike all the shows that are full of animal characters and unattainable fantasy, Caillou primarily consists of human characters and situations. Children can relate to his feelings and emotions. Unlike the uber-tard show where a little girl roams the earth alone, Caillou’s life can actually happen. And his friends are all ages, genders, and nationalities. He is diverse and indiscriminate and we need more of that. My 2 year old and every other toddler I know loves him.

    • I definitely wouldn’t call myself an adult. Even so, adults are VERY welcome into the world of children’s television. Who do you think makes the shows? If anything the shows are more for the parents than the children. I don’t have a “closed mind” if I analyze the show as a whole. I’m twenty five and have no kids. I thought about cartoons like this even when I was younger. I always had questions about things and thought they were weird if they were different. I think lots of kids find Caillou strange. At least the ones I babysit do. Yet kids love Dora the Explorer whom I also find strange. You can read my review on her (visit our almanac). I’m mostly just taking a jab at kid’s shows. This isn’t a serious post at all and I was pretty sure most people could figure out I was joking.

      • Of course you’re just joking! And I totally get that because like I said, I asked the exact same questions you’ve asked at a time before I’d watched 200+ hours of our bald, whiny friend here. Unfortunately, I’m an adult now but only because one of my children is now taller than me. And when he was young, he was a somewhat fan of Caillou and I couldn’t tolerate anything about him! He is now 14. Then there’s my daughter, who’ll be 2 in 3 weeks. She and the legion of small people she leads are complete fanatics. The world stands still for the 8 minute increments in which the boy wonder appears on Sprout. I didn’t understand at first, but when I watched all the rest of the shows that didn’t get as much attention, I saw what they saw. He’s a miniature cartoon version of Justin Bieber. So now I’m a convert, but under duress. Watching TV with 2-year olds becomes a hostage situation pretty quickly :p

      • Haha yeah I do get what you’re saying. There’s definitely two ways to look at it! Sorry if I sounded defensive…I’m so used to people commenting and telling me how awful I am for what I’m writing. Hah.
        But yeah, Caillou’s a good guy and I can see why kids like him and why they don’t care about all the minute details!

        2 year olds are so cute 🙂
        Thanks for reading and commenting!

  4. Calliou is awful. I basically stopped letting my daughter watch TV for awhile because Calliou took away my faith that anything of value could be gained from television. If I continued to watch, I might have lost complete faith in humanity.

    • I pretty much agree wholeheartedly if you couldn’t tell from my post. Caillou is super annoying and one of the worst portrayals of toddlers around. Hah yeah, stick to fun shows like Backyardigans or something not as bothersome!

  5. Caillou is 4. It says so in the theme song. “I’m just a kid who’s four…”. So two years between Caillou and Rosie. And he’s bald so the children watching don’t assimilate him with a certain type of person. Same reason his entire face is almost without any specifics. No glasses. No hair. Kids don’t care. They don’t feel isolated or separated.

    I found this site because you posted on Craigslist needing a writer. Clearly. Your writing is terrible.

    • Why were you looking to write for a humor blog if you have no sense of humor? Do you really think I care about the specifics of the children’s show Caillou?
      Thank you so much for trying to teach me something. You’re so smart and great. We definitely wouldn’t have accepted anything from anyone who spells their name like you do.


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