Pocahontas

It was common for kids in 1995 to mispronounce Pocahontas’ name as PocaTONTus or crazy Indian chick that talks to animals and stole John Smith away from me. This was the movie that singlehandedly made everyone want to love nature and keep the world beautiful so we could jump off waterfalls and talk to willow trees.

The story of Pocahontas takes place in the New World, which is weird because Pocahontas 2 is called Journey to the New World and she goes to England. So which one is the true new world? I really couldn’t care less. Anyway Pocahontas is just chillin’ in her native village and life is proving difficult. Her dad is the Chief and he wants her to marry Kocoum, the village’s hottie warrior.

Luckily, just around the river bend is John Smith (most boring name of all time) who is part of Governor Ratcliffe’s brigade of men looking for gold in the new world. I like how kings just assume that uncharted land has gold in it. They kind of explain in the movie how the Spaniards found gold in South America, so they should find gold everywhere in the Americas. Funny that they didn’t mention how the Spaniards brutally murdered a whole civilization of people, but whatevs. One of my favorite Disney songs is during the scene where they juxtapose Radcliffe and his men digging up Virginia to find gold and John Smith having adventures in the new land that he’s come to love.

One thing that Pocahontas teaches John Smith is that she’s way better at exploring and getting an adrenaline rush than he is. She introduces him to her pet raccoon, Meeko, and her pet hummingbird, Flit. You have to be some sort of animal whisperer if you get a hummingbird to follow you around. I think she also takes him to meet her Grandmother Willow. This girl actually talks to a tree. And the tree talks back which is totally not fair because I tried talking to trees in my backyard after seeing this movie and nothing happened. It was a low point in my life.

I just want to side track for one minute and talk about how hot Pocahontas is quickly. She has awesome hair and huge sexy lips. She also dresses like a super skank but she gets away with it because she has a really good bod. But I refuse to believe that Native Americans ever wore off the shoulder looks with fringe matched with turquoise jewelry. Just no.

So Pocahontas and John Smith get super close after he tried to kill her because he thought she was a savage. Because she was. They can’t really understand each other, but she sings him this really great song about loving the earth and taking into consideration that animals have spirits and so do plants. The song had really great lyrics and it’s a shame that John Smith probably didn’t understand  a word that she was saying. Except she knew the word for Sycamore and bobcat which is pretty impressive. She also mentions that she’s “copper skinned”. So do you think if we re-name the Washington Red Skins to the Washington Copper Skins it will be less offensive?

John Smith, Pocahontas, Kocoum, and Pocahontas' friend that no one cares about.

John Smith, Pocahontas, Kocoum, and Pocahontas’ friend that no one cares about.

Eventually Pocahontas’ tribe is freaked that she’s hanging out with a “pale skin” and they capture him and get ready to sacrifice him. Ratcliffe’s men realize this and rally themselves to fight the Indians, calling them savages. It’s funny though, both sides were  saying an equal amount of hurtful things. It wasn’t just Ratcliffe and his gang. The tribe was super ready to kill some white folk.

Pocahontas throws herself over John Smith to protect him and that’s pretty much all it takes to save him. Ratcliffe is annoyed that he didn’t get to kill any injuns so he tries to shoot Chief Powhatan but ends up shooting John Smith. GOOD ONE. The crew arrests Ratcliffe and everyone goes their separate ways. I think Pocahontas jumps off one last waterfall after that.

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17 thoughts on “Pocahontas

  1. I forgot about the song you posted here, it is a really good one indeed. The “hey nummy nummy” or whatever the weird guy says is my favorite part.

    Of course Pocahontas was more of a chick Disney flick because it starred a female character. Maybe they were right with being so worried about Clarissa Explains It All not appealing to males. My younger sister loved Pocahontas though so I am very familiar with the soundtrack.

    I went to a baseball camp with a kid named Meeko or Mico or something similar. I always wanted to ask him about the raccoon but never knew how to bring it up.

    • That would be awkward for a guy to bring up the Meeko thing. I would’ve just outright asked him, but it would’ve been less weird for sure. But still weird.

      That song is bomb for sure. Although I also like the song “Savages” on the sound track because it’s so dramatic.

      My little brother liked Pocahontas but he was 4 so he pretty much liked everything.

  2. Pingback: Table of Contents | Kidz Showz

    • Maybe not as common as I though. It’s possible that I knew a lot of kids with speech impediments.

      This one definitely isn’t that exciting. The songs are it’s saving grace. I think the most boring ones are the older ones like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White….snooze fest.

      • The characters and animation and the fact that I think Princess Aurora is beautiful make “Sleeping Beauty” interesting for me! And “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” is a classic and the one that changed the state of animated films and film in general forever, so I quite enjoy that too!

        I would consider “Fantasia” very boring myself!

      • Yes, I can definitely appreciate those aspects of both films, but ehh. I liked the newer stuff better for some reason. But yes, we can both agree that Fantasia is super boring!

  3. I don’t remember having a real opinion on the the original movie (though I did have a little stuffed Meeko I really liked), but the sequel was one of the ones that caused unending rage in my being.
    A whole movie just to establish she needed to be with the “other” John? Who was pretty much a douche anyway? What the heck was up with that?
    And I got excited when the real John wasn’t actually dead and showed up again, but then Pocahontas was all like “Eh. Nah.”
    What. The. Hell.
    Confusing to a poor girl’s heart.

    • The sequel was definitely frustrating. I only liked the part where they dressed her up in British clothing. I would’ve loved a stuffed Meeko. I had some sweet Pocahontas clothes I think…ugh.

      • Did you dress up as an Indian Princess for Halloween? I had a friend who did. Due to copyright violations and the fact that her parents were cheap a-holes, she was an “Indian Princess” and not Pocahontas.
        I didn’t realize that Disney owned the rights to historical figures….

      • That’s crazy! Couldn’t she just say that she was Pocahontas? Who would care? It’s not like people could contact Disney and tell on her, right?

      • Oh, she totally did. I meant the costume ensemble she bought was called that.
        I just found it puzzling because I was pretty sure Pocahontas was a “real person” (being that she wasn’t much like Disney, the still, the name existed before Disney snatched it). I didn’t understand why Cheapo Costume Supply couldn’t call theirs Pocahontas.

    • Yeah! I guess a lot of people didn’t like this movie as much as us? I liked it because it wasn’t a typical Disney movie. They tried covering a pretty heavy topic which I give them props for.

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