Pokemon

I was one of those people who could get away with liking Pokemon in middle school because my younger brother liked them. Is that an excuse? Maybe not. I have to give props to the creators of Pokemon for thinking up a whole new world with crazy creatures.

Now let’s get one thing straight off the bat—In this piece I’ll only be referring to first generation Pokemon since the next generation is dead to me. I hate when people try to keep updating things when their original plan was already successful. Pokemon was perfect and they ended up ruining it.

I think Pokemon started out as a card game and evolved into an empire somehow. It might have started out as a Gameboy game, but I’m pretty sure the cards came first. When the TV show aired, it was good, but it was basically just an add-on to the Gameboy game. Same story pretty much, just with the addition of new characters.

Ash Ketchum was the main character—eventual Pokemon master. He was just your average anime kid with big dreams. Where he comes from, being a Pokemon master means being able to train your Pokemon (that you catch yourself) to be unbeatable, healthy, perfect creatures. You don’t have to have all 102 Pokemon to be a master, but your Pokemon have to be practically perfect. Have I lost you? Good.

Ash must have been at a crossroads in his life because he decided to leave home to catch Pokemon and become be best around. He meets up with this Pokemon specialist, Professor Oak, who gives him his first Pokemon. In the game you can only choose from three: Bulbasaur (a plant Pokemon who eventually evolves to the awesome Venasuar ), Charmander (a fire Pokemon who can evolve to the powerful Charizard), or Squirtle (who later morphs into badass Blastoise). These are all wicked choices and for some reason in the show Ash gets to choose Pikachu. This really shouldn’t be, but that’s how the story goes. Pikachu should eventually evolve to Raichu but never does in the show which is frustrating. Pikachu is an electric type Pokemon and usually ends up shocking people when it’s annoyed.

So Ash goes on his journey with Pikachu. Usually Pokemon are stored in Pokeballs, but Pikachu is a disobedient POS and walks around all the time. The first city Ash comes across is Pewter City. I think. I’m not even sure anymore. I’m making this up as I go. To win a badge (I forget why badges are important, but I think it has something to do with being the best), Ash has to fight the gym leader at the Pewter City Gym. Before you get excited, when I say fight, I mean fight with their Pokemon.

Brock is the leader of the Pewter City Gym and he has absolutely no eyes. I’ve never seen a more accurate portrayal of Asian eyes. And I can say that because I have really small eyes myself. Brock’s Pokemon are all super annoying rock-type Pokemon. Pikachu beats him easily and Brock feels totally embarrassed and joins Ash on his journey. Oh and Brock gives Ash the Boulder Badge. Sweet Brock, good one.

The next town they come across is Cerulean City where they go to the gym to find 3 gorgeous girls, Daisy, Violet, and Lily—The Sensational Sisters. These sisters were the leaders of the gym, but they kept getting beaten by other trainers so they let their ugly little sister Misty take over. I guess their parents decided to quit with the flower theme when Misty was born? Misty’s Pokemon are all water-types which proved for a dangerous battle with Pikachu. Eventually Misty loses and she gives Ash the Cascade Badge. Sweet.

Daisy, Violet, and Lily.

After that Misty decides to travel with them because she can’t be around her pretty sisters anymore. Or at least that’s what I like to think.

Misty and her stupid next generation Pokemon Togapi.

The team is pretty powerful with all of the Pokemon and keeps traveling from town to town to defeat everyone they can.

Sometimes they run into the scheming Team Rocket, a daring duo who want to steal Pokemon to make money. They never end up winning, which is frustrating because I always cheer for the bad guys. Team Rocket is made up of only two people, Jesse and James. James, even though he never says it, is gay. I know this because he occasionally likes to dress up as the girl whenever they go undercover. And his voice gives him away. And his hair cut. And his clothes.

Between them, Jesse and James have a Meowth Pokemon which is a cat-type Pokemon that eventually turns into a Persian. Their leader Giovanni has a Persian, I believe. They also have a team motto that I’m not going to write out because it’s kind of long, but I sadly have it memorized.

The rest of the story line is basically Ash gaining more power, more friends, and Team Rocket being hilarious. I think there’s a love story between Misty and Brock or Misty and Ash but I can’t really remember. It’s been too long since I brushed up on my Poke-knowledge. I just know my parents were embarrassed of my brother and I during this whole stage of our lives.