I was one of those people who could get away with liking Pokemon in middle school because my younger brother liked them. Is that an excuse? Maybe not. I have to give props to the creators of Pokemon for thinking up a whole new world with crazy creatures.

Now let’s get one thing straight off the bat—In this piece I’ll only be referring to first generation Pokemon since the next generation is dead to me. I hate when people try to keep updating things when their original plan was already successful. Pokemon was perfect and they ended up ruining it.

I think Pokemon started out as a card game and evolved into an empire somehow. It might have started out as a Gameboy game, but I’m pretty sure the cards came first. When the TV show aired, it was good, but it was basically just an add-on to the Gameboy game. Same story pretty much, just with the addition of new characters.

Ash Ketchum was the main character—eventual Pokemon master. He was just your average anime kid with big dreams. Where he comes from, being a Pokemon master means being able to train your Pokemon (that you catch yourself) to be unbeatable, healthy, perfect creatures. You don’t have to have all 102 Pokemon to be a master, but your Pokemon have to be practically perfect. Have I lost you? Good.ash-ketchum_1024x768_81186

Ash must have been at a crossroads in his life because he decided to leave home to catch Pokemon and become be best around. He meets up with this Pokemon specialist, Professor Oak, who gives him his first Pokemon. In the game you can only choose from three: Bulbasaur (a plant Pokemon who eventually evolves to the awesome Venasuar ), Charmander (a fire Pokemon who can evolve to the powerful Charizard), or Squirtle (who later morphs into badass Blastoise). These are all wicked choices and for some reason in the show Ash gets to choose Pikachu. This really shouldn’t be, but that’s how the story goes. Pikachu should eventually evolve to Raichu but never does in the show which is frustrating. Pikachu is an electric type Pokemon and usually ends up shocking people when it’s annoyed.

So Ash goes on his journey with Pikachu. Usually Pokemon are stored in Pokeballs, but Pikachu is a disobedient POS and walks around all the time. The first city Ash comes across is Pewter City. I think. I’m not even sure anymore. I’m making this up as I go. To win a badge (I forget why badges are important, but I think it has something to do with being the best), Ash has to fight the gym leader at the Pewter City Gym. Before you get excited, when I say fight, I mean fight with their Pokemon.images

Brock is the leader of the Pewter City Gym and he has absolutely no eyes. I’ve never seen a more accurate portrayal of Asian eyes. And I can say that because I have really small eyes myself. Brock’s Pokemon are all super annoying rock-type Pokemon. Pikachu beats him easily and Brock feels totally embarrassed and joins Ash on his journey. Oh and Brock gives Ash the Boulder Badge. Sweet Brock, good one.

The next town they come across is Cerulean City where they go to the gym to find 3 gorgeous girls, Daisy, Violet, and Lily—The Sensational Sisters. These sisters were the leaders of the gym, but they kept getting beaten by other trainers so they let their ugly little sister Misty take over. I guess their parents decided to quit with the flower theme when Misty was born? Misty’s Pokemon are all water-types which proved for a dangerous battle with Pikachu. Eventually Misty loses and she gives Ash the Cascade Badge. Sweet.

Daisy, Violet, and Lily.

Daisy, Violet, and Lily.

After that Misty decides to travel with them because she can’t be around her pretty sisters anymore. Or at least that’s what I like to think.

Misty and her stupid next generation Pokemon Togapi.

Misty and her stupid next generation Pokemon Togapi.

The team is pretty powerful with all of the Pokemon and keeps traveling from town to town to defeat everyone they can.

Sometimes they run into the scheming Team Rocket, a daring duo who want to steal Pokemon to make money. They never end up winning, which is frustrating because I always cheer for the bad guys. Team Rocket is made up of only two people, Jesse and James. James, even though he never says it, is gay. I know this because he occasionally likes to dress up as the girl whenever they go undercover. And his voice gives him away. And his hair cut. And his clothes.

Between them, Jesse and James have a Meowth Pokemon which is a cat-type Pokemon that eventually turns into a Persian. Their leader Giovanni has a Persian, I believe. They also have a team motto that I’m not going to write out because it’s kind of long, but I sadly have it memorized.Team-Rocket-team-rocket-19632374-695-519

The rest of the story line is basically Ash gaining more power, more friends, and Team Rocket being hilarious. I think there’s a love story between Misty and Brock or Misty and Ash but I can’t really remember. It’s been too long since I brushed up on my Poke-knowledge. I just know my parents were embarrassed of my brother and I during this whole stage of our lives.

22 thoughts on “Pokemon

  1. I was into the Silver game for awhile. But I get so set on the “one version” of the game that I get all offended when people tell me to play the newer one. I think they’re up to like, Platinum or Adamantium Meteorite now. My youngest brother, being a whole generation younger than me, still plays them.
    I get so enraged when he talks about the new ones. They don’t even try with the names anymore. I swear one was like “Icecreamsammichu” and looked like ice cream.

    • Yeah the Gameboys games were really good. I also had most of the N64 games. Because I was obsessed with anything N64. Still am, actually. Hahah Adamantium Meteorite. Seriously they need to stop. It’s almost offensive now.
      Omg that’s so annoying. I used to hate Digimon because I thought they were such a Pokemon rip off. They did stuff like Icecreamsammichumon. I hated them so much. Hahah I love how we can bond about this.

      • Omg, I haaate Digimon too!!! I had a cousin get into that and I told them immediately how super uncool they were.
        Also Yu-Gi-Oh pissed me off because it was a show about actually fighting with cards. Not cards based off the show. Which is just…..why is Asia so crazy??

      • YES Yu-Gi-Oh is so stupid too. I feel like if I lived in Asia I would’ve loved everything, but since I don’t I can only pick one and I choose Pokemon!

  2. I got interested in Pokemon a year too late. I remember writing “Pokemon sucks” in the baseball dirt during recess with my friend Kevin who caught me peeing during recess another time. I think this was what he made me do as blackmail. My interest never went beyond the cards. You can’t break a TV show, but you can break a trading card.

    “Brock is the leader of the Pewter City Gym and he has absolutely no eyes. I’ve never seen a more accurate portrayal of Asian eyes. And I can say that because I have really small eyes myself.” – no you don’t. You’re just being intolerant. I remember a teacher telling us that Asian people have small eyes because all of the sand that would blow at their faces made them squint and they got stuck that way. At least that’s how I remember the teacher telling us. I wish I knew which one it was.

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  4. You can say that again. I was probably more embarrassed that I somehow managed to memorize the lyrics and music to that one song – “you take a normal type like a jiggly puff or the ghost of ghengar who battles real tough….” Someone kill me.

  5. I could remember a time when I could wake up hearing the Pokemon opening theme. My brothers watched them every fucking morning, so what choice do I have really but to sing along with them???

    And the Team Rocket Motto, “Blah blah blah…to protect the world with devastation! To unite all people within our nation! blah blah…” Epic. For some reason though, I found myself attached to those ugly rock pokemons because they’re like troll idiots! Take Geodude: eeeyuck! Who wants their first names with “dude” in them? That’s total idiot name. And the way he said it: “Geoooooduuude” in that big, bass voice = IDIOT. But for some unknown reason, he struck me as sweet. Go figure.

    Pokemon. Crazy days. 😀

    • Haha yeah Pokemon was on in the morning! Hah yeah I love how Pokemon could only say their names. Nothing else. So stupid.

      I always liked fire Pokemon because they seemed so bad ass yet adorable at the same time. But you’re right, Geodude did sound like an idiot. Hah!

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