We haven’t written about many Nick at Nite shows on this site, at least not for a while, so it’s time we write about a classic one, Wings. Is Wings considered a classic? In my mind it is and that’s all that matters, what I think.
Wings is about an airport on Nantucket Island in New England. I once knew a man from Nantucket. He had a really small penis and I was ashamed I paid $50 to see it. That’s the last time I ever believe a dirty limerick.
The main characters are the Hackett brothers, Joe and Brian. Joe owns the airport and he’s always wanted to be a pilot. He was such a lousy pilot though that he had to buy a small airport with one plane because no one else would hire him. While Joe is real down to earth and conservative (he hates abortions!), his brother Brian is a bit wilder. In one episode Brian takes a picture of his penis and mails it to Joe’s mother-in-law by accident. He also slept with Joe’s former fiancé and they stopped talking for a while. Wow. This show was dark.
Joe is now married to someone new, Helen. She has a weird accent and dresses like women from the early 90s. Considering the show takes place in the early 90s, she’s pretty trendy. She likes to cause some mischief and she works the kitchen at the airport. I’m pretty sure she gave up her dreams to help Joe. I want a girl like that.
One thing you should know about this airport is that there are two airlines in it. Across from them is Roy Biggins who runs his own rival airport. He has a lot more planes and crew so most people fly his airline. He’s fat and mean though with a villainous mustache. In a later episode he has a gay son and they play a game of basketball to determine whether or not the son can be gay or something like that.
The Hacketts have a very small crew working in their airport. There’s Faye, the ticket counter lady. She always has smartass comments to make about everything, especially Roy. There’s also Lowell who you may know best as The Sandman from the third Spiderman movie. The Sandman you may know best as a Spiderman villain you never knew existed. Really? They couldn’t have gone with someone better? Lowell is a dimwit and the airport mechanic. He’s probably good at his job because there was never a crash.
Tony Shalhoub was a cast regular. He is a taxi driver who comes in and drinks coffee. He seems to have a very depressing life. Most of his storylines are with Helen since she’s the one who makes the coffee. Amy Yasbeck also comes into the picture later on in the series, playing Helen’s sister. She ends up having sex with Brian a lot. That may actually not be true. She has sex a lot in the Wings fan fiction I write though so that has to count for something, right?
Wings is one of those shows I may have seen every episode of. I’m not even exaggerating. Every day during my summers when I was younger I would watch Wings on USA Network during the day. They would air at least 4 episodes a day. I associate this show with my mom because she enjoyed watching it too. Somehow this show was on for 8 years and amassed 170 episodes. How does that happen? This show never was as big as a few other sitcoms on at the time and still managed to put out so much material. I blame Middle America. They were far too afraid what a man from Nantucket might be packing. Why is everything a penis joke with me?