Pocahontas

It was common for kids in 1995 to mispronounce Pocahontas’ name as PocaTONTus or crazy Indian chick that talks to animals and stole John Smith away from me. This was the movie that singlehandedly made everyone want to love nature and keep the world beautiful so we could jump off waterfalls and talk to willow […]

Angels in the Outfield

With an “All-Star” “lineup” this movie “hits” a “home run” “out of the park” would be a terrible punny way to start off this piece. It’s also a little inaccurate. Unlike a lot of people, I think Angels in the Outfield was a stupid movie. I’m of course referring here to the one with Joseph […]

My Favorite Overweight Child Stars

Growing up as a fat kid it was always tough to find role models. I tried idolizing people like Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials. Then I found out he was long dead from cocaine. Something happened in the 1990s though. Video games got better which meant kids stopped exercising as much. Suddenly there were […]

The Mighty Ducks

Few film franchises have spawned their own cartoon shows and even fewer have stolen tax dollars to put a new hockey arena in a city. The Mighty Ducks managed to do them both. (Emilio Estevez in a denim shirt, Dockers, and a pose that says “Look what I have to deal with!” I also like you […]