Celebrity Narrators

At some point, it became A Thing for celebrities to make cameos on children’s programming. When I was a kid, Richard Pryor was showing up on Sesame Street and pissing off my mom, who was decidedly not a fan of his brand of humor. Now Mark Mothersbaugh guests on Yo Gabba Gabba and shows kids […]

2013 Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards Recap

First, I didn’t watch this when it was on Saturday night. I spent my Saturday night massaging my buttocks trying to figuring out where my nerve is damaged while I watched The Human Centipede 2. Clearly I’m not a kid anymore if I’m having ass pains and content staying in watching bad sequels. Second, I […]

My Brother and Me

My Brother and Me was my first introduction to “black shows”. And just so you know, I’m not trying to be racist when I use that term. When I’m trying to be racist, you’ll know. In a world of kid’s shows with all white cast members, My Brother and Me enlightened me (or endarkened me) […]

Drake & Josh

Divorce and dead parents are a common theme in children’s programming. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like growing up in a happy and healthy household with loving parents and seeing how all kids on TV have parents who hate each other or cancer in their DNA. The kids would feel like there’s nothing […]

A Poem for Victoria Justice

Dear Victoria Justice, Nothing is as strong for you as my lust is. Your acting chops are new and you’re getting some good experience, But who pays attention if you flub a line when you’ve got such a lovely appearance. You were born in 1993 which makes me feel a tad old and creepy, I […]

Eureeka’s Castle

Sometimes I feel like I was the only person in the entire world that watched Eureeka’s Castle. I believe it was aired on Nickelodeon in the early 90’s which once again proves that I only watched one channel for the entirety of my childhood. Eureeka’s Castle was a show consisting of magical creatures that lived […]

The Adventures of Pete & Pete

When I think of weird I think of two things, plungers and the television show Pete & Pete. Plungers are weird because a lot of science had to go into making them. It must mean there was a good few years when toilets existed and plungers didn’t. You don’t just clog a toilet then know […]

Inspector Gadget

I wasn’t alive when Inspector Gadget was on air but for some reason Nickelodeon got desperate and played the reruns during the 90’s. I watched a fair share of Inspector Gadget but I was never fully impressed with it. And I still can’t spell gadget for the life of me. Some things never change. For […]


Doug was a staple TV show for me growing up in the 90’s. I remember one of my friends came over to do homework with me and right as we sat down to work, I heard Doug’s theme song and rushed over to the television to watch. My parents later told me that my behavior […]